Once a shopkeeper
"always a shopkeeper"
When I closed my little shop around the corner, I believed I was hanging up my apron for good. I sold off my entire inventory, furnishings, and deleted my social media accounts. I was done, cooked, and ready to see what life may hold for me. I took a year and basically got reacquainted with what it means to do nothing in life. I spent time with my children, George, his family, and remembered how much I love garden design and renovating my home. I came back to writing daily. I had closed the chapter on shopkeeping. Well, at least I thought I did. Life has a way of coming around to go around. Most of us have heard the saying, “what’s meant for you will never pass you by.” I’m holding tight to my cozy cottage by the sea, I can feel it in my bones. A return to living by the sea won’t pass my by, I just need to be patient.
Things seem to blindside me in life, they always have. Bits of gold nuggets fall from the sky every now and then and land unexpectedly at my feet. Just last week I was spinning my wheels trying to figure out what I might need to add to my plate. I’ve been working here and there helping out where I could, nothing more than part time. I was almost convinced that I was done working full time. My years of building and expanding businesses were nearing their end and roots had begun sprouting in my home and gardens. Writing has not materialized as a profession yet, even though it remains my constant companion. I began wondering if I was semi retired and my focus had shifted to simply being there for myself and family. It felt odd, not yet satisfying but it did have certain alluring qualities that I couldn’t put my finger on.
I created and built two storefronts in my lifetime: The Little Hat Company and A Little Something. Libby asked me why I always include the word little in my business names. I had never wondered about it. She said I should have called it The Great Big Hat Company. I smiled and told her that she was probably right. I quietly changed the subject I had no intention of owning another business in my lifetime. Eight seemed like more than enough, the energy to start a ninth non existent. Then like always I was thrown a curve ball. Last week something fell from the Universe into my lap. A sign if you will that I have some life left in me and it’s not time to hang up my shopkeeper’s apron quite yet. George, like every other time in my life is showing up and supporting my decision to jump back into the saddle. I’ve even reordered copies of my children’s book to hopefully arrive in time for our big announcement. When people have told me “life changes in an instant” it has usually been when I’ve felt most down and out and uncertain. Now as I have decided to move forward in a direction that wasn’t on my radar before last Monday, I’d like to remind all of you - life changes in an instant.
Not all of us get encumbered to the point of mental and emotional exhaustion, but for those of us who do, depression isn’t forever. Change comes and goes, each of us have the opportunity to move beyond what is seizing us up in life. For those of us who are just too tired and weary to go on, there’s no shame in staying put. We all have a journey and choices to make. They are our own. I think back to all the times in my life that I’ve wanted to throw in the towel, how I felt hopeless and worthless, sometimes it lasted for years, others just a few weeks. Then I remember the times that I didn’t. I imagined new windows that opening up with a different view, less storm clouds and more options to see fresh perspectives.
Change can come slowly or in a flash, but it will come.
If you’re curious about what has fallen into my lap from the sky, here is an invitation to find out and help us celebrate the big news!!
Exciting!!!